My story is like so many others. I grew up in a nominally Christian home, where my parents professed to believe in God. I was surrounded by God and the church from the beginning. Raised in a Christian home, I was a vibrant teenage girl. I even would have affirmed the gospel and my own conversion. But in a state of cognitive dissonance only the deception of sin can explain, I was simultaneously pursuing pleasures of the world. What started as an obsession to immoral dressing, ungodly relationships, I became very fixated on my self and my image. I became very consumed with what people’s thought of me and was living for the acceptance of the world. But the life was exhausting and eventually my secret sin was exposed.
At first, I manufactured remorse whenever I was confronted by my Christian leaders and my parent in all attempt to convince them that I was repentant. Gradually, I started moving with ungodly friends who were not helping. My peers helped me in pursuing my desires and incrementally my heart became more hardened and I no longer bothered to cover my sins. My hypocritical life was known to many members of my church and I didn’t want or know how to change. I fooled myself into thinking that, although I still believed in God, I stopped going to church regularly and I stopped following him anymore. God wouldn’t miss me, I thought and I didn’t need him. How foolish I was!!
Dear reader, it happened that I lost somebody so dear to me. A week before he died I was at his place of work. We gisted, cracked jokes for hours. The news of his death caused so much sadness to me and I felt miserable. Seriously I still don’t know how I made it through. He was just too young, he died with an unfinished dream and goals. The painful thing was that he died without Christ. It was at this point I realised that death is real and it can happen at anytime. I began to imagine Hell and Heaven. The thought of missing heaven and going to Hell sent a shiver down my spine. The Spirit of God kept telling me I needed to be living for and loving him. He kept repeating a particular scripture of the Bible that says “…He that covereth his sin shall not prosper but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy” (Proverbs 38:13). These words, “Hope, repent because the kingdom of heaven and hell is real” kept ringing in my head for weeks.
I really didn’t know when I bursted out in tears after a Sunday worship sermon in Church. I realised I needed Jesus, He had waited for me there for a long time. From growing up in a Christian home I knew that He could save me if I let Him. I confessed that I was a sinner. I acknowledge that Jesus was sent to die on the cross so that I can be saved from my sins and have eternal life. I committed myself to God and to living for Him again.
Since I knew Him He has given me fulfillment, purpose and joy. I am not perfect and I still mess up, but God loves me despite my flaws and imperfection. God did help me by doing away with ungodly peers, immoral dressing, ungodly relationships and here I am today, standing!!!!!
My name is Hope Tryphena
God loves you!!!!
May God bless every hands that share this testimony in Jesus Christ’s name. Amen.